1. |
Marissa Cooper
02:46
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wrote you a letter that you'll never read
had some thoughts that spilled right out of me
lie in bed watching the oc
the truth exists between my fingers and your hair
wrote you a letter that you'll never read
it's unexplained and it's so intense
i've got a truth i could speak to you
catch in my throat, hold back, it's all way too new
insecurities that i outgrew
as i gazed at you transfixed
i've got a truth i could speak to you
i think you're fearful because it's so intense
afraid when you need to fight for me
that's when you'll fly from me
but you already fought for me
first night we met
it was late night, in front of a food truck
you squared up with a guy with face tattoos
is it weird that's when i fell for you
tell me what you want and i'll do it
you and me smoking trees so fluid
with that gleam in your eyes go through it
not just the act but your reaction to it
tell me what you want and i'll do it
you're so surprised because it's so intense
i'll stick to calling you my marissa cooper
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2. |
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a dying phone, a feeling i'll carve in stone
remind myself not to do this again
what i reap i've sown, a life in monotone
maybe i'll hear from you now and then
and i'll try to accept it
you and i have history but we won't make history
i want it so bad, i want it intact
but i'm an artifact
and you're a light that doesn't refract through me anymore
if you discover what you desire
let me know because i've been looking for that myself
drop me a line from time to time
worrying about my deteriorating mental health
i want her to feel alive and in stereo
leave me behind and bury my soul
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3. |
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you'll be my friend
i'll be more than friends
i build monuments in my head
to what could have been
posting pictures from a bat mitzvah to see if you saw
these thoughts are way too dark for a synagogue
i think this girl, met on instagram, she wants to share a beer
that's one way to forget that you're not here
plans to hang tomorrow but no word today
is this how you disappear
you'll be my friend
i'll be more than friends
i build monuments in my head
to lights that are dimmed
in bed as we sin
a friend request from your roommate i read in too far
is it a sign i'm important in your life or just an act apart
now i'm at this girl's house and we're talking about art films
try and keep my drink down
try and keep my heart still
because you and me are apart still
it's such a hard pill
you'll be my friend
i'll be more than friends
i build monuments in my head
to vacations abroad
they stay in my thoughts
they stay in my thoughts and i like it
a lost snapshot of our life
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4. |
Wishlist
02:19
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pictures from spain ten years ago
still makes me nervous, i don't know
my mind's still smoking in that broken home
the one with the tiled kitchen where we pretended to fuck on camera
this is the cold front
i've been subdued, i've been at ease
do i treat you like a disease
i don't know what to take for that
i almost forgot the day i packed up
keep up the charade
the dogs would stay, someday i'd pay
someday i'd return but for now
we're too young and poor and restless
reach out and touch the frigid stone
this is all overblown
this is all my blood has ever known
it's a garden that's overgrown
it's a forest that's overgrown
maybe i felt i was impatient
flavors i hadn't tasted
we know we lacked dedication
there was nothing different then
it's the same thing again and again
i had your name on a wishlist
but you're a statue made of granite
and if you're done i can understand
why that wish wasn't granted
not again
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5. |
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trip to the whip again
how fat's that bag i seen
i've got a set at ten
how lit can i get by then
who can i disappoint by then
who else is on my team
who is that there staring at me
the heat still drops my knees
this life is just a tease
nose slips a muffled sneeze, i hide it
last time at seventeen i tried it
and i cosigned it
i don't say what i please
hold in my mouth and freeze
locked up, yeah lost the keys
got lost by more degrees than i counted
words, why'd i let them sting
ask my boy what'd he bring
i hope it's just a fling
but i'm enjoying this way too much
this is just a crutch and i know it
present clean, reluctant to show it
no, things aren't what they seem
sleepwalking through a dream
don't look, just blow of steam
just fade away into eternity
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6. |
Inside My Head
02:37
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did i really say those things
still reeling from admissions i made
drunken thoughts spill as they pertain
does the thought of me do the same
cooking with you on an open flame
conversations when the sky is grey
past lives washed away with rain
i'm liking my ascention
your faded apprehension
my intention is you
with a penchant for you
got a question for you
is it intense and is it true
what i feel for you, do you feel it too
because i know i do
i think i'm slowly dying
you know i think of you so highly
and rising from the ash, fueled by crushing passion
is a being who is woke
to the truth that is you
know a former lover turned you stone
barrier from head to heart that stopped the flow
but three weeks ago i was unknown
somehow now you melt at words i intone
let me meet all your friends
let me live in your bed, between your legs
you owe me rent for the space inside my head
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7. |
Haunted
02:20
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did i finally get in shape for you, maybe
deep down it's always been about you baby
making myself someone i think you deserve
talking about commitment again, i'm curved
but i've been getting nothing from you lately
one day adoration then you hate me
my needs start feeling underserved
live by gaslight, drive right at me but swerve
been ill in my solitude
too closed off to follow through
and that facetime's been calling you
and your interest's been falling too
i know a ghost is supposed to haunt me but goddamn
the one who moaned and wailed the most but a flash in the pan
i want to understand you but i don't
you get me high and then you're cold
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8. |
Know You're There
02:49
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when i'm about it i go hard
either last forever or go out like a shooting star
feelings create a crater so large
it encompasses all of me
i could suck you dry
til you're just a hollow husk, heart pried
open, i take the dot from your eye
and all that's left is you within me
and empty inbox feels like death
need a fucking tether
falling hard without a net
hold your porcelain face, deep breath
i'll pin you, you pinch me alive
i'll stand on the table, tell truth
i need you forever, summer in a private booth
wanna get your words tattooed
on my body, just all for me
i know you're there
i know you're there when i look at you, touch on you
meet me there, admit you're there
if you let me in your head i'll destroy you
fuck, if you get me in your bed i'll destroy you
all these late night conversations i pore through
work to burrow deep in you like a corkscrew
want to give you a good line so you can feel as confident about us as me
want to feed you that good white so you can feel as confident about us as me
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9. |
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i want a girl who goes and eats grapes
in a graveyard while she's on break
who intimidates with handshakes
who makes me write songs when my heart aches
you know it's you
girl, i'll let you hibernate right here
destroy my mattress, see if i care
your head's a wreck and it's so unfair
my head's a mess as my eyes just stare
at the infinity that is you
this doesn't feel so new
the universe plans rendezvous
for souls that can't pass through
across time we've got a history
look at you i feel the litany
of connection it's hitting me
i'm okay if you're never awake
body heat and sweat as day break
mind set on you, my leg shakes
before long the entirety quakes
want to get a tattoo of your namesake
marissa on my body, my soul to take
are we connected beyond this earth
do we exist beyond this bed as you stir
i think you and i will always work
something won't let it not
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10. |
Past Life Reveries
03:36
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she's the queen of the checkmate
a belt she won't vacate
she'd sleep over on a sunday
blowing clean in the driveway
new london fantasies
past life reveries
taking a mind trip
a game of brinksmanship
love a bargaining chip as jeans get unzipped
sleep back to back
i know i'm not intuitive
think i can intuit this
i've been that guy, given that line
she stopped babbling on with me
passing the apogee
were a babylon, now you're free
made me pretend to like astrology
tried to forget it all in albany
clean blow mind wipe
can't shock you with what i like
friends don't believe the hype
baby i'm a stereotype
ephemeral as anything
a superficial plaything
day dreams to night dreams to bedroom dreams
become my everything
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11. |
Crisis
03:11
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what's a word that's on my mouth but not allowed
something i feel but cannot say out loud
this is the last song i'm writing for the record
next time you hear from me i'll know whether
you worked out for me
these bedroom dreams pour out of me
hoping one day they'll be reality
if you need the most pathetic, i'm a nominee
turns out i've fallen so staggeringly
if you want dumb love, you'll owe me a fee
because that copyright belongs to me
i've given you the power to totally destroy me
please use it gently
can you lose something you never had
homesick for a place i wanted so bad
i think i'm addicted to love
and blowing it up to feel the drug
of so much emotion in my blood
invite me over, let me down, for us
why do i do everything wrong
fuck things up, tell you how in song
six hours of hell in a full blown crisis
make me feel so alive, why try and fight this
when i know how i feel i'm so self-righteous
while the thought of love has you so frightened
i knew what i bought but didn't check the prices
a return policy that's so one-sided
i know i want it while you try to hide it
exercise until i can't move, that's how i know my pride's hit
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12. |
Long Arms
03:33
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up in her tower just one on one
lint from her sweater grabs the sun
we leave no question what on earth we've done
wonder when she'll hit the hills
this head's so beyond the heels
everyone else, this is where they run
just apprehensive, it's by design
tell me yours, i'll tell you mine
unpacking bags in a process that's just begun
i'm drowning in compliments
from the long arms i'm entangled in
in a moment i'll drop defense
i'll take it
spoiled, she says that's how she feels
mouth on her neck, create a seal
driving home i feel entirely undone
a silhouette on top of me
the falling sun obscured by trees
a nervous hand on neck, i think she likes that
i'll worship her body and mind
start a cult of legs entwined
write sacred texts from the car outside
i'm drowning in compliments
from the long arms i'm entangled in
in a moment i'll drop defense
i'll take it
let myself sink in her
i'll take it
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